It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity... The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris dams and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted... Failure to comply with this request, or any further unauthorized activity on the site, may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.
A couple of beavers are in the (state unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, nor authorize, their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful used of natural building materials "debris."... As to your dam request [that] the beavers first must fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity, my first dam question to you is: are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or do you require all dam beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, please send me completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits... I seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam policy-or once again both I and the Spring Pond Beavers will scream prejudice!
(Wall Street Journal, 3/30/98; the article concludes: "The Michigan Department of Environmental Quality informs us that the case has been closed.")
1 comment:
I thought it was really funny, too.
: )
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